See the pattern, not just the moment.
A quieter place to capture what happened, notice what keeps repeating, and understand the relationship with more perspective over time.
ⓘ Important limits Not therapy, legal advice, or a diagnosis. This app never tells you to stay or leave.
- Not professional advice. This app is a private record-keeping and self-reflection tool. It is not created or reviewed for you by a licensed therapist, counselor, doctor, attorney, or domestic-violence advocate, and it does not replace one.
- No diagnosis. It does not diagnose mental-health conditions, personality disorders, abuse, or anyone’s intent, including yours, your partner’s, or your child’s.
- You make your own decisions. It never tells you to stay in or leave a relationship. If threats, stalking, coercion, or violence are involved, leaving can carry its own risks, so consider talking with a qualified advocate about a safety plan first.
- Patterns reflect only what you record. Labels such as “worth watching” or “possible gaslighting pattern” come from your entries. They can be incomplete or wrong, and they are not proof of anything.
- Recording laws are your responsibility. Some states require everyone’s consent before a conversation is recorded. Check your state’s rules before recording anyone else.
- Not an emergency service. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 in the U.S. or your local emergency number. For a mental-health or suicide crisis in the U.S., call or text 988.
What you’ve been noticing
Start logging interactions to build a private picture over time.
These counts reflect the other person’s behavior in what you recorded. Your own behavior stays separate, so one side never erases the other.
Supportive
Felt respectful, kind, or caring.
Worth watching
Small concerns or inconsistencies.
Needs attention
Recurring issues or unkind behavior.
Safety concern
Behavior that may be controlling, harmful, or unsafe.
Your current relationship
Your latest entries
Helpful reminders
Signals to notice
Log an interaction
Choose what happened and add notes if useful.
What happened?0 selected
Good / supportive
Choose the positive things that happened in this interaction.
Bad / concerning
Choose anything uncomfortable, disrespectful, pressuring, controlling, unsafe, or concerning.
My part in the interaction (optional)0 selected
This is for self-reflection, not automatic blame. Track what you handled well and anything you may need to own.
More details (optional)feelings, outcome & notes
If there are visible marks, consider dated photos and medical care. Store copies somewhere the other person cannot access if that is safer. Choking or strangulation needs urgent medical evaluation even when marks are not obvious.
Relationships are complicated. A single conversation, score, or label rarely tells the whole story. Relavara examines what you record from several separate angles — their behavior, your behavior, repair, recurring patterns, safety, and change over time — to support a more holistic analysis.
You do not need to open every section at once. Use the sections that help answer the question you are asking today.
Relationship Insight
The big picture across separate lenses: their behavior, your side, repair, and safety.
A decision-support view built from what you recorded. Relavara separates the other person’s behavior, your own behavior, repair, and safety so one category cannot erase another.
What could I do next?
A few possible next steps based on your pattern.
Relavara chooses a few possible next steps from the pattern you recorded. These are options, not instructions about whether to stay, leave, reconcile, or end contact.
Weekly review and before vs. after
Compare this week with last week, or before and after a change.
Weekly Pattern Review
A seven-day recap compared with the previous seven days.
Before vs. after
Pattern Evidence
See the exact entries behind each recurring theme.
Tap a recurring theme to see the exact entries behind it. Relavara should be able to show its work.
Personal goals
Something you want to observe or change.
Choose something you want to observe or change. Relavara tracks the pattern without grading you as a person.
Relationship timeline
Important stages and significant interactions, newest first.
Important stages and significant logged interactions, newest first.
Concern trend over time
Daily graphs for their behavior and your own.
A daily graph from non-concerning up to very concerning. The top chart reflects the other person’s recorded behavior, and the second reflects your own recorded behavior. Days with no logged behavior are shown as gaps.
Pattern overview and recurring phrases
Common themes and words that keep showing up.
Pattern overview
See their behavior and your behavior separately, or review both side by side.
Recurring phrases
Phrases noticed in written notes for this relationship. These are not assigned to either person unless your note makes that clear.
Repair over time
Whether apologies and repair attempts lead to change.
Questions worth considering
Short check-in questions that track how things feel over time.
Answer these as a relationship changes. One answer per question per day is saved so the app can show a reflection trend over time.
Understand the pattern before naming it.
Learn common relationship and conflict concepts in plain language. These lessons are educational — they are not a diagnosis of your partner, you, or your relationship.
Look at context, repetition, boundaries, impact, safety, accountability, and whether behavior changes over time.
Use what you learn without jumping to a conclusion
A term can help describe a behavior, but the most useful questions are usually: How often does this happen? What happens when I raise it? Do I feel safe? Is there accountability? Does the behavior actually change?
Healthy relationships can include mistakes, frustration, and disagreement. What matters is how conflict is handled and repaired.
Poor communication and recurring conflict can be harmful without necessarily involving coercion or violence.
Threats, stalking, sexual coercion, blocked exits, strangulation, or physical violence deserve attention even if loving behavior is also present.
Private image gallery
Save photos or screenshots connected to the selected relationship. Images stay in this browser on this device and are not sent to Relavara or a cloud service.
Local storage
Voice recordings
Record a voice note describing what happened, in your own words. Recordings stay in this browser on this device, like your images.
Add relationship
Your relationships
Private Safety Plan
Optional planning notes for the selected relationship. This does not tell you to leave or stay. If threats, stalking, coercion, or violence are involved, a qualified advocate can help personalize a plan.
These notes are stored in this browser and included in normal backup files. The PIN hides the interface but does not encrypt this data.
Privacy & safety settings
Privacy lock & Quick Exit
Set a 4-digit PIN to hide the Relavara interface on this device. The PIN is stored as a one-way PBKDF2 hash when secure browser cryptography is available.
Quick Exit instantly replaces Relavara with the neutral “Notes” screen. Use the Quick Exit button at the top, or press Esc three times.
Privacy limit: the PIN hides the interface; it does not encrypt local browser storage, erase browser history, hide downloaded-file names, or prevent someone with device-level access from finding stored data.
Data
No backup recorded yet.
You can lock a backup with a password when you save it. Keep backup files somewhere private.
Sample data
Fill the app with realistic example people and entries to explore it, or to take screenshots without using real information. Your own entries are not changed, and the samples can be removed in one tap.
Install on this device
When this app is hosted on HTTPS, supported browsers can install it so it opens in its own app window and keeps working offline after the first successful load.
Private journal
All journal entries
Understand what Relavara can — and cannot — do.
Relavara is a private relationship-pattern, record-keeping, education, and self-reflection tool. It helps organize what you record so you can look at a relationship from more than one angle over time.
Record what stands out
Include supportive interactions as well as difficult ones. One entry is a moment; repeated entries create context.
Include your side
Relavara gives your behavior its own space so accountability does not become self-blame and your actions are not counted as something done to you.
Review the pattern
Use Insights, Journal, Reality Check, trend graphs, goals, repair data, and evidence links to review what changes over time.
What Relavara does
Relavara helps you organize a private record of interactions and examine it from several angles.
- Keeps dated interaction and journal records.
- Shows supportive behavior as well as concerns.
- Looks for recurring patterns rather than assuming one ordinary conflict proves a label.
- Separates safety from the normal relationship mix.
- Compares apologies, accountability, repair, and changed behavior.
- Provides Reality Check education in plain language.
- Offers reflection questions and possible next steps while leaving decisions with you.
- Can help you notice improvement, lack of change, or patterns in your own behavior.
What Relavara does not do
- It is not therapy, counseling, medical care, legal advice, or a licensed professional service.
- It does not diagnose mental-health conditions, personality disorders, narcissism, abuse, or anyone's motives or intent.
- It is not a lie detector. It cannot know whether an entry is complete, accurate, mistaken, missing context, or written while emotions are high.
- It does not decide your relationship for you. It does not tell you to stay, leave, reconcile, forgive, break up, cut contact, or resume contact.
- It is not an emergency or crisis service. It cannot monitor your safety or contact emergency services.
- It is not proof. App categories, warnings, screenshots, recordings, notes, and summaries are not automatically legal evidence or professional findings.
How to use Relavara well
- Create a relationship profile.
- Log interactions that stand out. You do not need to document every conversation.
- Include positive and supportive moments.
- Add your own behavior when relevant. This is a core difference from tools that only analyze the other person.
- Add context in notes.
- Let history build.
- Review Insights instead of relying on one score.
- Use Pattern Evidence.
- Use Personal Goals for your own behavior.
- Back up regularly. Backups are only encrypted if you lock them with a password when saving.
What you should not rely on Relavara to do
- Do not treat one warning, percentage, trend, phrase match, or category as a professional conclusion.
- Do not use Relavara to provoke, test, trap, secretly manipulate, or manufacture behavior from another person.
- Do not use educational terms as a substitute for context or professional assessment.
- Do not assume an apology means a problem is resolved; look at accountability and behavior over time.
- Do not assume positive behavior erases threats, stalking, coercion, sexual pressure, blocked exits, violence, or strangulation.
- Do not depend on Relavara as your only copy of important documents, images, or recordings.
- Do not assume the PIN encrypts underlying data.
- Do not record another person without understanding the laws and rules that apply.
When professional or outside support may help
A qualified professional can offer assessment, treatment, legal advice, advocacy, or individualized safety planning that an app cannot provide.
- Therapist or counselor: relationship distress, emotional-health concerns, trauma, communication, or behavior-change work.
- Domestic-violence or victim advocate: threats, stalking, coercive control, sexual coercion, violence, technology abuse, or safety planning.
- Individual behavior-change support: if you are concerned about your own controlling, threatening, coercive, sexually harmful, or physically aggressive behavior.
- Attorney or legal aid: recording laws, custody, protective orders, housing, workplace issues, documentation, or legal use of material.
- Medical care: injuries, sexual assault, strangulation/choking, or other health concerns.
How each feature works
Getting around
- On a computer, use the menu on the left. On a phone, use the bar at the bottom; tap More for People, Guide, and Gallery.
- Home shows your greeting, the date and time, your pattern so far, your latest entries, and helpful reminders.
- Tap the date and time at the top to change your time zone. The greeting (good morning, afternoon, or evening) follows it.
Adding people
- Go to People and fill in Add relationship: a name or nickname, the relationship type, and optionally a stage, start date, private note, and photo.
- Tap the round photo circle to add a picture of the person. It stays on this device only. Change or remove it later with Edit.
- The relationship type decides which questions you see. Before a first date, adults, and a child or teen each have their own lists.
- Free Basic supports one personal relationship profile. Premium unlocks unlimited people, with each person’s entries and patterns kept separate.
Logging an interaction
- Tap Log, choose the person, and pick how the interaction felt.
- Under What happened?, choose what they did: supportive behaviors and concerning ones.
- Optionally add How did it happen? (in person, phone call, text, and so on), My part (your own behavior), feelings, and a note.
- To change an entry later, open it in Journal and tap Edit. Earlier versions are kept in its edit history.
One interaction with several people
- If more than one person you track was part of the same interaction, tap their names under Also involved before saving.
- After you save, the form moves to the next person with the date, how it happened, and your note already filled in. Record what that person did, then save.
- Use Skip this person or Stop anytime. Each entry shows “Also involved,” and each person’s patterns stay separate.
Insights and summaries
- Insights is split into sections. Tap a section to open it, or use Open all / Close all. The app remembers which ones you leave open.
- Relationship Insight answers three questions: what is happening to me, what am I contributing, and is there a safety issue.
- Premium: Create a printable summary for a therapist, counselor, or advocate, choose the time period and what to include, then print, save as PDF, or download it.
Journal, Reality Check, and Gallery
- Journal lets you browse entries by date, search, and filter, including a filter for entries where you recorded concerns about your own behavior.
- Reality Check explains common relationship terms in plain language, including what each one is not.
- Premium Gallery stores screenshots, photos, selfies, and voice recordings for each person.
Taking a calm minute
- Tap Take a calm minute on Home, or Pause & breathe after saving an entry.
- Breathe guides you through about a minute of slow breathing. Grounding walks you through the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise.
Backups and moving to a new device
- Go to People → Privacy & safety settings → Export backup. Choose Lock with a password (recommended), or save without one.
- Write the password down. A locked backup can’t be opened without it by anyone, including us.
- On a new device, use Import backup and enter the password if the backup is locked.
- Gallery images, voice recordings, and profile photos are not included in backups. Save copies of any you need.
Privacy settings
- PIN: set a 4-digit PIN and choose when the app locks itself.
- Quick Exit: tap Quick exit, or press Escape three times, to switch to a plain Notes screen.
- Name shown: choose “Notes” to keep the app name out of the browser tab and header.
Look and feel
- Free Basic includes Candlelight and Lavender. Premium unlocks all eight calming visual themes.
- In Privacy & safety settings you can also choose Text size and turn Background movement off for a still background.
Sample data
- Load sample data (in Privacy & safety settings) adds three example people with realistic entries, so you can explore the app before using your own information.
- Remove sample data deletes only those three sample people and everything logged under them. Your own people and entries are never touched. If you added anything to a sample person, it is removed along with them.
Voice recordings, screenshots, and documentation
- Voice notes about your own experience are the lowest-risk recording use.
- Recording laws differ by jurisdiction and circumstance.
- Workplace, school, court, custody, or private-property rules may also apply.
- Relavara's recording-law information is general educational information, not legal advice.
- Images and voice recordings are stored locally and are not included in the normal JSON backup.
- Keep independent copies of important material.
Privacy, PIN, Quick Exit, and backups
- Relavara is local-first.
- The PIN is an interface lock, not encryption.
- Quick Exit changes the visible screen; it does not erase browser history or defeat device-level monitoring.
- Clearing site data, changing browsers, moving a local file, or changing devices can cause saved data to appear missing.
- Use Export backup regularly. Backups are only encrypted if you lock them with a password when saving.
- Gallery images and voice recordings are stored separately; save important originals elsewhere too.
Why Insights has so many sections
Relationships are complicated. We need to examine interactions from a number of angles to support a more holistic analysis.
No single score can fairly represent a relationship. Insights separates questions such as:
- What behavior did the other person show?
- What behavior did I show?
- What keeps repeating?
- Are apologies followed by repair and lasting change?
- Is the pattern improving or becoming more concerning?
- Is there a serious safety issue?
- What do reflection check-ins suggest over time?
You do not need to use every section every time.